Bring it on.

The play is phenomenal. Woo hoo! Scheduling for next semester is stressful...but it doesn't have to be. *breathes deeply* I hope I can keep up with my yoga. I can't decide about the acting class. I would love to have a simple schedule.

There are children chanting outside! At least, I think they're children. If they're not then whoever it is better shut the hell up cause that ain't cute. I think it's kids though...but why would kid be here? Hm.

Take home quiz...don't know what I'll do it. Could start it this afternoon, I guess. Don't know if I'm prepared.

I'm going to be so sad when the play is over :( but if it doesn't end I'll die! Haha.

Yeeee haaaaaaaaaaaaw! I don't know what I want to be/do. That has been scaring me recently. Normally I don't mind.

The root of my fear: Chariot

 

 

• What drives you?
• What is your motiviation?
• Are your goals reasonable? Obtainable?
• What are you trying to control, and why?
• Do you have the skills you need to succeed?
• Can you try a different approach to reaching your goals?
• What would you do if you had a sudden change in direction or location?

My feelings: Two of Swords

• Am I utilizing all of my deeper facets in making decisions?
• Am I moving against the current of life, or with the flow?
• What kind of unique or unorthodox resources are available to me in my time of need?
• Can I allow solutions to come to me,or am I needlessly forcing my way through a situation?

(um, that is SO on target)


What I should do: The Emperor
"the Emperor reminds us that sometimes "doing" is the only method we have for "knowing." "

• Am I leading by example?
• What kind of ruler am I?
• Am I being inflexible? Too practical?
• Do I need some advice on this situtation?
• Upon what resources am I calling in order to be the best leader?
• What's my strategy to accomplish these goals and are they realistic?

A common theme I see has to do with being grounded and finding solidarity within myself, and then beside that the issue of control (the chariot). I think I feel out of control. And by that I mean that I TOTALLY feel out of control and I am TOTALLY scrambling for control, and I am terrified. And I need to just maybe like...center, and keep going.


Oh, goodness.


And the knight of cups.

It would be false to say that I have not been productive this morning. I did 2 loads of laundray (five frickin dollars, folks), ate, studied my lines, studied some leaves to give my lines some sensory context ("This one! Like a leaf.")...went up and down the two flights of stairs in my dorm probably 10 times, no joke. I haven't done any homework though and I feel a bit antsy about this. By the time Sunday comes around I am always behind and overwhelmed. I spent every day till Thursday trying to catch up. On Thursday I get caught up and am relieved. Then I don't do any homework for two days and it starts all over again.

But THIS Thursday is Fall break. So I guess I'll at least be caught up/definitely screwed by Wednesday at the latest :-)

I have all sorts of theatre things to write. I haven't even looked at my How Writing Is Written assignment. BUt also, my side of hte room is a huge mess. I have the fullest laundry hamper I've ever had that (that was fun to carry here from the laundromat. Oooh, my litle body!) i need to unload, my bed has no sheets on it, and my school stuff is lying about willy nilly. It just occurred to be that if someone didn't know the expresioon " lying about willy nilly" they would think "What is Willy Nilly and why is she lying about it?" Get it? Right.


So. Here I go. Rehearsal today at 6. Might be smooching. Photo shoot at 5. Don't know what to wear *frustrated grimace* Ernie said to "bring sweater options." Um...okay. And I suppose I will just be naked under that. WHATEVER! I'M FINE!

(tarrotteachings.com)

• What is my ultimate desire?
• Do I believe that now is my time for glory?
• Am I ready to accept my highest achievement?
• How will I receive the accolades for my hard work?
• Can I envision the upcoming reward for my toiling?
• Do I have faith that all things are coming together for my highest and best good?

Hmm.


I feel out of sorts. I also got the 10 of wands (eek) and the King of Cups (hmm...). I think it's kind of a: this is how you are, this is what you ought to do, and this is what you're aiming for thing but tarot is confusing. I also wish I had the the time to really study it because it would be cool to know it well enough not to have to use a book/website every time. But I have little time to spare. I still haven't finished reading hte book I was nearly done with when I got here.


I sort of feel like I'm starting the morning off wrong by being on the computer. I know writing in my journal would be better. I haven't done that in a week or so.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY CADIE!

(12:00ish-1:00ish                      Eat.
1:00ish-2:00 Go to library.        Work.
2:00-3:00                                    Watch documentary.
3:00:5:30                                     Work, go to CVS, oh yeah, and eat dinner. I forgot that part.
5:30-7:00                                    Theatre interest meeting (*deep breath in, deep breath out. deep breath in, deep breath out*)
7:15 ish                                       PIck up Allyson from the airport
After that....                                  Ernie wants to help out at auditions by reading (to help set the comedic tone. But I will have already left to get Allyson. Also, if my homework isn't done *scoffs* I will seriously NEED to do some of that. And auditions last forever (and a freaking day and a half) so I'll have to get out of there in a timely manner anyhow.

Plus, Rase is going to be around at some point. So insert at LEAST half and hour of talking to him.

It's 73 today. That's pretty warm, right?

OKAY! LET US BEGIN!


P.S. This weekend has been really good though I haven't gotten much done. Yesterday I spent all day until 5:00 with Rase. Which was AMAZING. Oh my frikkin GAWD. Then I went out on the town with the improv class. Then I went with Rase to a party and saw some friends I haven't seen in a long time.

Yesterday was my dad's death day. That is just as ordinary and weird and stupid-feeling as ever, and now it is gone. I wrote a five-page poem in which I said some horrible things. I think this is good.

Also, cinnamon toast crunch is MUY delicioso.

I have anger.

It is big and red and blaring and it is MINE!

Today was fat.

And it sat on me.

Because I was too tired to run.

So, I'm trying out this alternative sleeping method where rather than sleep I just roll around fitfully and hallucinate.

It's going really well.

Carmen, I'm a little shocked at some of the movies you haven't seen (you cross on the ones you've seen, right?) but I forgive you.

Also, I can't get rid of the strikethrough. And to that I say, "Fuck you, Livejournal." Making me look likea fool. I guess that means you can ignore everything written here, because it is crossed out. Ha. ha. Ha.

1. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
2. The Godfather (1972)
3. The Godfather: Part II (1974)
4. Il buono, il brutto, il cattivo. (1966)
5. Pulp Fiction (1994)
6. Schindler's List (1993)
7. The Dark Knight (2008)
8. 12 Angry Men (1957)
9. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
10. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
11. Casablanca (1942)
12. Star Wars (1977)
13. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
14. Shichinin no samurai (1954)
15. Goodfellas (1990)
16. Rear Window (1954)
17. Cidade de Deus (2002)
18. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
19. Fight Club (1999)
20. C'era una volta il West (1968)
21. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
22. The Usual Suspects (1994)
23. Psycho (1960)
24. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
25. Up (2009)
26. Sunset Blvd. (1950)
27. The Matrix (1999)
28. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
29. Memento (2000)
30. North by Northwest (1959)
31. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
32. Se7en (1995)
33. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
34. Citizen Kane (1941)
35. Léon (1994)
36. Apocalypse Now (1979)
37. American Beauty (1999)
38. Taxi Driver (1976)
39. American History X (1998)
40. Vertigo (1958)
41. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
42. Forrest Gump (1994)
43. WALL·E (2008)
44. Paths of Glory (1957)
45. Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (2001)
46. Double Indemnity (1944)
47. M (1931)
48. Alien (1979)
49. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
50. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
51. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
52. The Shining (1980)
53. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
54. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
55. The Third Man (1949)
56. The Departed (2006)
57. Das Leben der Anderen (2006)
58. The Pianist (2002)
59. Chinatown (1974)
60. Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
61. City Lights (1931)
62. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
63. Aliens (1986)
64. L.A. Confidential (1997)
65. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
66. Das Boot (1981)
67. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
68. The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
69. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
70. El laberinto del fauno (2006)
71. Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
72. Raging Bull (1980)
73. All About Eve (1950)
74. The Maltese Falcon (1941)
75. Rashômon (1950)
76. Modern Times (1936)
77. Singin' in the Rain (1952)
78. Gran Torino (2008)
79. Some Like It Hot (1959)
80. Rebecca (1940)
81. Der Untergang (2004)
82. The Prestige (2006)
83. Metropolis (1927)
84. The Apartment (1960)
85. Amadeus (1984)
86. The Elephant Man (1980)
87. Nuovo cinema Paradiso (1988)
88. La vita è bella (1997)
89. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
90. The Great Dictator (1940)
91. Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
92. Ladri di biciclette (1948)
93. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
94. Back to the Future (1985)
95. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
96. The Great Escape (1963)
97. The Sting (1973)
98. Sin City (2005)
99. Touch of Evil (1958)
100. Braveheart (1995)
101. On the Waterfront (1954)
102. Star Trek (2009)
103. Det sjunde inseglet (1957)
104. Hotel Rwanda (2004)
105. Batman Begins (2005)
106. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
107. Jaws (1975)
108. The Green Mile (1999)
109. The Wrestler (2008)
110. Strangers on a Train (1951)
111. No Country for Old Men (2007)
112. Unforgiven (1992)
113. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
114. Blade Runner (1982)
115. Gladiator (2000)
116. Notorious (1946)
117. The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
118. Oldboy (2003)
119. Die Hard (1988)
120. Per qualche dollaro in più (1965)
121. High Noon (1952)
122. The Big Sleep (1946)
123. Cool Hand Luke (1967)
124. Fargo (1996)
125. The Wizard of Oz (1939)
126. The General (1926)
127. Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
128. Mononoke-hime (1997)
129. (500) Days of Summer (2009)
130. There Will Be Blood (2007)
131. Smultronstället (1957)
132. Donnie Darko (2001)
133. It Happened One Night (1934)
134. Heat (1995)
135. Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
136. Yojimbo (1961)
137. Annie Hall (1977)
138. Ran (1985)
139. The Deer Hunter (1978)
140. The Sixth Sense (1999)
141. Ben-Hur (1959)
142. Les diaboliques (1955)
143. Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)
144. Platoon (1986)
145. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
146. Into the Wild (2007)
147. Le salaire de la peur (1953)
148. Million Dollar Baby (2004)
149. Le notti di Cabiria (1957)
150. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
151. The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
152. The Grapes of Wrath (1940)
153. Life of Brian (1979)
154. 8½ (1963)
155. Snatch. (2000)
156. The Big Lebowski (1998)
157. The Gold Rush (1925)
158. The Graduate (1967)
159. The Night of the Hunter (1955)
160. Stand by Me (1986)
161. Finding Nemo (2003)
162. Ratatouille (2007)
163. The Killing (1956)
164. Gandhi (1982)
165. Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
166. Brief Encounter (1945)
167. Amores perros (2000)
168. Gone with the Wind (1939)
169. The Lion King (1994)
170. Trainspotting (1996)
171. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927)
172. Scarface (1983)
173. Groundhog Day (1993)
174. The Thing (1982)
175. The Terminator (1984)
176. Sleuth (1972)
177. The Wild Bunch (1969)
178. The Kid (1921)
179. Harvey (1950)
180. V for Vendetta (2005)
181. Toy Story (1995)
182. The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
183. The Hustler (1961)
184. Umberto D. (1952)
185. Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
186. The Princess Bride (1987)
187. The Hangover (2009)
188. The Incredibles (2004)
189. Twelve Monkeys (1995)
190. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
191. Stalag 17 (1953)
192. Children of Men (2006)
193. Casino (1995)
194. Hotaru no haka (1988)
195. The Lady Vanishes (1938)
196. Duck Soup (1933)
197. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
198. Dial M for Murder (1954)
199. The African Queen (1951)
200. The Ox-Bow Incident (1943)
201. La battaglia di Algeri (1966)
202. Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
203. In Bruges (2008)
204. A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)
205. Letters from Iwo Jima (2006)
206. King Kong (1933)
207. The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
208. Låt den rätte komma in (2008)
209. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
210. The Lost Weekend (1945)
211. The Exorcist (1973)
212. Safety Last! (1923)
213. La strada (1954)
214. His Girl Friday (1940)
215. The Conversation (1974)
216. Rope (1948)
217. Ed Wood (1994)
218. Le scaphandre et le papillon (2007)
219. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
220. Changeling (2008)
221. Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
222. All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
223. Sweet Smell of Success (1957)
224. Network (1976)
225. Manhattan (1979)
226. Crash (2004/I)
227. The Philadelphia Story (1940)
228. Frankenstein (1931)
229. Patton (1970)
230. Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
231. Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
232. Great Expectations (1946)
233. Big Fish (2003)
234. Laura (1944)
235. Magnolia (1999)
236. Good Will Hunting (1997)
237. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
238. Mystic River (2003)
239. My Man Godfrey (1936)
240. Wo hu cang long (2000)
241. Roman Holiday (1953)
242. Glory (1989)
243. Rocky (1976)
244. Moon (2009)
245. Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
246. Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
247. In the Heat of the Night (1967)
248. La dolce vita (1960)
249. Harold and Maude (1971)
250. Planet of the Apes (1968)

Surprisingly, I fell right asleep last night. To Third Eye Blind. One moment I was listening to "Don't Believe a Word" and the next I knew I was waking up at 3:00 in the morning having to pee. Good times. I woke up again at 6:00 and couldn't go back to sleep, so I guess I'm up for good, though I can tell I'm tired.

My jaw hurts! And I had to take a migraine pill. Apparently the steroids might help my jaw. But they make me really thirsty.


My day was great yesterday. I had a good time with Sean, then I got to see my mom for a little bit because she came home early. THEN Lauren Coffey used her magical powers for the second time this summer to call me the evening before I left for Hollins (last time was before Hollinsummer, and coincidentally I hung out with Sean that day too), and this time I was actually able to meet up with her. Then I went to Melissa and Ryan's house-warming party, which was definitely warm, as in friendly and awesome. They had a band, Damaru, play, and they were really good. http://www.myspace.com/damaruduo

I had to leave kind of early because my antibiotics are doing unfortunate things to my tummy. This very moment, in fact. Damn it. *Puts on shiny face*


My whole day yesterday was basically warm and fuzzy, all the way through. :-)


I enjoy this new 3EB cd. I can reeeaaally hear their other music in this music. I'm not going to call that a criticism though. Because I sort of love them too much to mind.


P.S. I feel the need to complain that of all the things ailing me right now, the actual sinus infection itself is the least of them. My allergies, period, and the side effects for the medicine for the infection are all far more bothersome. *irony*

I had such a great evening last night! I spent the night with Amelia and had a really good time :-). We had waffles for dinner, which was actually quite perfect, and we played  card games, and made faces, and played the game where you say song lyrics like a monologue, and then I got to listen to her mumble and smack her lips in her sleep (she's gonna kill me now).

I am even kind of sad now about leaving. Because it was so fun.
 

Hey Cadie--I'm on PrednisONE! And antibiotics. Prednisone tastes bad. Like whoa. So I always have a cookie afterward. Because I can't handle it. The antibiotic pills are kind of big but really smooth so I have yet to choke on one. For those who wish to know.


Holy crap. I'm going to Roanoke TOMORROW! Wowza!


Also, I totally got some good exercise yesterday. Wha-bam!


I guess I don't really have a ton to say... I think today will be really good. I'm going to see Seanie, and then I get to see Melissa and Ryan this evening. Today is just full of beautiful people! 




 

I am now INCREDIBLY grateful that PENTA was able to get me an appointment before fall break. Because....*drum roll*

I HAVE A SINUS INFECTION!!


And I'm overjoyed yes, because I have actually had it for a VERY LONG TIME. I don't know how long, and neither does the doctor, but I've had it long enough for FOURTH FIFTHS (4/5) of my left sinus to become totally congested. And that would explain why I have sort of felt, you know, sick...ish... for so long. And I am happy. Because now I can get some MEDICINE. And now I don't have to feel like mucus queen.


:-)


I don't even mind that it took 3 hours for me to get in and out of there.

I am so happy right now! 

Amelia came over and we made a cake, and then Chelsea joined us, and I get SO happy and bubbly around my friends. I get ridiculous, if you want the truth, so I basically just spent my whole evening laughing and having an awesome time, feeling like my head was full of air. So fun. And then I got tired which just crossed a line. Also, I beat Amelia at foosball.


I have to get up early tomorrow but I don't mind. Gyno spectacular!! Oh man. And I'm seeing 500 DAYS OF SUMMER with AMELIA! Sweetness.


So this is just one of those entires where I boringly list everything that is making me smile right now, much to the reader's unamusement.


Wheeee!


"Happiness Makes Up in Height for What it Lacks in Length." --Robert Frost **


**Until it's gone.

Dear Period,

You are a jackass.

That's not a very nice way to start a letter. Let me try again.


Dear Period,

I think you're a jackass. Which isn't to say that I am not worried about you or concerned for your wellfare, because I am. By which I mean I am concerned about me and my wellfare. So. Get it together. You're freaking me out.


Vehemently,

Lianne

Please note the title of this entry. I asked my mom how to say "My name is Claude. I like to eat all day." And then I said it, over and over, as though I were five years old. I was very, very, hyper last night. Oh, how my loved ones put up with me! I must be cuter than I think (which is saying something).


I was tonight too, an hour ago. Lots has happened since then! All good in the end, though.


I do have to go to bed soon, though.


P.S. My period started, and I am so, so happy. BRING ON THE PAIN. At least it will soon be over. Pray for my migraine.

Couldn't sleep last night--up till 3:00. From 2:00-3:00 I read Robert Frost, and I have a beast crick in my neck to show for it. New favorite poem: "Line-Storm Song." I also learned some new words last night, as Robert Frost uses some archaic  language (and some language I just don't know). Swale (a low point in a tract of land). Antiphony (a responsive verse or psalm--love this word). Limn (to depict or illustrate, describe, illuminate, or embellish). Amain (to return with force, or suddenly).

I'm glad I still like him. I was afraid I was beginning to grow disillusioned with my former ardent love for him.


Speaking of Ardent Love. http://new.music.yahoo.com/third-eye-blind/videos/view/dont-believe-a-word--217257973

Oh, Stephan Jenkins...I have ridiculous celebrity crush on you!


RASE IS ON THE ROAD TODAY! I blame him for my insomnia. I'm too friggin excited to sleep.


Please let me express to you my concern over one matter: when listing, I have been automatically skipping the oxford comma, though I have most adamently professed its importance. I always fix it, and, upon re-reading, I stll think sentences are better with it . Therefore: people who don't use the oxford comma don't proof read. And they are lame. (If this is you, I'm sorry. But you're lame.)

Because I'm on the phone with Rase and I'm not laughing at anything he's saying. I'm laughing at this:

I looked up Mofo in an online slang dictionary.

noun

• "Mother Fucker." A saying pertaining to insulting terms of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous.

  She/He is a Mofo .

  Submitted by Helen W., Sep 07 2004.

• mother fucker. Not nessicarly used in anger, or insult.

  whut up whit da mofos here (friends)

  you mofo (nemisis)

  Submitted by Hayley W., Oct 30 1997.

• Mother Fucker.

  I know who your talking about, that kid's a mofo.
  

  Submitted by gabby, Broomall, PA, USA, Sep 16 2002.
  
  
  
  
   

So, I am almost done. The reason I am not still working is that I ran out of glue. But it is probably for the better because I have been working since 7:30 (four hours). I've been sitting on the floor the whole time (I mean, I got up a few times, but you know). So I am very tired and my BACK is very tired too, an sore. So I really should go to bed. Which is why I'm updating my journal. Hmm.

I sort of wanted to shower because I can still feel sunscreen on me, but I think I'm too tired now. Oh noooo. I just realized my bed doesn't have sheets on it yet because I washed them today and never put them back on. So maybe I may as well just rinse off in the shower before I put my sheets on. And then I want to read, even if I am tired, because I haven't read my book in maybe 2 days (which is a bummer because I am really enjoying it).

I also played piano a lot today, and did some cleaning. Look at me, getting all productive on my ass.


Oh love, love, love, love love. I don't know. I'm tired. *hums*


My mom likes my poetry. I'm glad I write the kind of poetry that my mom thinks is good. :-) 

I finally saw Tropic Thunder and it was very, very funny. How ironic that the one Ben Stiller movie I like is the one he directed. Oh, Robert Downey Jr. I heart you! 

Also, I think I have road rage, but with like...everything. One minute I'm like a forest animal in Bambi and the next I am like, Rambo or something. I don't know. Is Rambo angry? I wouldn't be surprised.

My dinner tonight:
One whole "Thing" of Sour Patch Kids'
A bowl of cereal
Chips and Salsa


Regret it? Yes. Yes I do.